Loving Amy Su's new book

Loving Amy Su's new book, and feel privileged to consider her a mentor, colleague and thought partner. In her latest publication Amy openly shares her proprietary Leadership-Coaching framework.

In 'The Leader You Want To Be' she shares her processes, approaches, and tools developed from two decades of high-impact coaching to CEOs, Executives and Emerging Leaders.

For anyone looking to improve their effectiveness, fulfillment, or balance as a Leader, or a Leader who wants to raise the game of those around them, her practical guide is full of true stories, exercises, and worksheets aimed at expanding your capacity, and thriving rather than surviving.

So excited to finally get my copy of The Leader You Want To Be!

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So excited to finally get my copy of Amy Su’s latest book! Amy is not only an amazing mentor and guidepost when it comes to all things coaching, she is an inspiration. Now through her generosity and openness in sharing all her coaching magic, anyone can have Amy on their shoulder or by their side through their own leader’s journey. #coaching #leadership #leadersjourney #amyjensu

What Comes First Success or Happiness?

NEW Phoenix | How To Be Happy At Work | Wed Oct 17th

Life really is too short to be unhappy at work!

While many people think when they are successful they will be happy, Annie McKee argues it's the other way around, and when we are happy we are more successful...

Looking forward to co-facilitating a dynamic workshop for NEW Phoenix with my colleague Todd Weinstein, based on Annie McKee's best selling book How To Be Happy At Work. Explore how Purpose, Hope, and Friendship are 3 essential elements to attain professional fulfillment and satisfaction at work.

#happinessatwork #newphx #resonantleadership #authenticleadership

Authentic Leadership

In life, phenomena are not born in a vacuum. They are born in a reaction to something. Authentic Leadership arose in earnest as a clarion call to a new generation of leaders in the early 2000’s to learn from negative examples of companies like Enron, WorldCom, and Tyco. A great distrust of leaders and corporations was exposed, creating a wind of change, and giving rise to a movement that impacted both what people looked for in their leaders and the missions and cultures they wanted to be part of in their workplaces.

Leaders of the highest integrity became committed to building enduring organizations: People who have a deep sense of purpose and are true to their core values, who have the courage to build their companies to meet the needs of their stakeholders, and who recognize the importance of service to their employees, their partners, their customers, and their communities.

In this way ‘authenticity’ emerged as the gold standard of leadership.

We are not defining leadership in this context as a hierarchical position in an organization – we are referring to leadership as presence, not position. All of us have gifts of leadership, that are minimally reliant on having direct reports – I can’t tell you how much time I spend in discussions with leaders around the subject of leading ourselves, leading across teams and influencing upwards.

Authentic leadership is built on who you are, not on your style. It has to do with who we are as human beings and the forces that have shaped us. If I were to ask you in this moment: “What has made you the leader you are today?” How well would you be able to answer?

The importance of the leader’s life story is paramount. Authentic leaders explore their formative experiences to give meaning to their lives, and understand who they are. This process of learning, growing, and developing an integrated self is a process of reflection, construction, and meaning-making. As leaders explore their life stories and their most difficult challenges, they process their experiences and develop a deeper understanding of themselves, feeling increasingly comfortable in their own skin. They create a narrative around their story.

People who have had negative experiences early in their lives, which cause them to have difficulty in managing certain situations or emotions, need not feel like shutting these things in a drawer far away, or deep inside themselves. Rather, by understanding and reframing their experiences, they can find the lessons and strengths and purpose it has given them that represent their authentic self. This is a never-ending journey. As leaders, we are always

discovering the next layer, learning more about who we are, gaining confidence and resilience.

I am often reminded of this when I hear winemakers consistently describe how the very best wine comes from vines that have suffered, and persevered, throwing out their fruit, from the stoniest, harshest soil.

That is what Starbucks’ Howard Schultz did in coping with the severe challenges of his youth. He grew up in a hardscrabble existence; his family lived in a public housing project in Brooklyn. His father was uneducated, his mother wasn’t working. It was just a tough time, and as a teenager he realized his athletic ability was his only ticket out. In looking back he has commented, that his father never had a shot. Howard Schultz wanted to become a leader, making up for his parents’ failures. He revealed in writing about his life “That his tremendous professional success is a tribute to his late father who never attained fulfilment and dignity from work he found meaningful,” but also admits that in his most vulnerable moments he still has fear of failure today. He regrets never having the chance to tell his parents how much their struggle inspired his own achievements.

It’s what made the difference for Steve Jobs when he returned for act two at Apple, 9 years after his dramatic termination. He had become a far better leader, his obsession with control had been tempered, he was better you might say at playing with others, and this was crucial to his extraordinary success.

Authentic leaders rise above the challenges that face them, and discover their passion to lead. In his latest book, Discover Your True North, Bill George and his team interviewed 172 authentic leaders, and their research highlighted not only the importance of how these leaders have processed their life stories but the vital role of self-awareness in leadership development, confirming that leadership is fully a human endeavor, and that the essence of authentic leadership is emotional intelligence. In contrast to IQ, which essentially doesn’t change over one’s adult lifetime, EQ can be developed. Leaders rarely fail due to a lack of IQ—it’s their ratio of IQ to EQ—or the integration of head and heart. Matters of the heart, Bill George says comes from 4 traits:

  • Passion—about what you are doing, and your purpose

  • Compassion—taking the time for yourself, and for others

  • Empathy—for those you work with

  • Courage—to stay the course and demonstrate self-discipline.

And to quote Maya Angelou, “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”

Understanding your leadership purpose and applying the distinct strengths and qualities you bring to leadership challenges is far more important than focusing entirely on achieving success defined by metrics like money and power and status. The first and most important step is deepening self-awareness.

One of the hardest things for leaders to do is to understand how the world sees them, how others experience them—it is difficult to seek honest feedback from colleagues, friends, and subordinates about yourself and your leadership. The reason it’s so hard is because how people see you is often quite different from how you want to be seen. Your intention and your impact are not aligning--something in between, your actions, are resulting in missing the target. Authentic leaders obtain real-time feedback by eliciting comments from their ‘truth-tellers’, who give them candid feedback about their leadership, and gathering 360 reviews from supervisors, peers and subordinates. The qualitative comments shared can be of great benefit if leaders take them to heart and genuinely try to adjust.

Becoming skilled at tailoring their approach to the audience, the situation, or the team around them, is another imperative of authentic leadership. I’m often in discussions with leaders about whether their undesirable behavior is simply part of who they are. For example, if they are direct, and appear to others as blunt or arrogant or critical, is that just a function of their personality? Shouldn’t others just accept the bad with the good, they’ll ask? I call this their ‘authenticity racket’, or their story about why it’s ok or unavoidable to be a jerk. If it wasn’t your intention to be a jerk, or it wasn’t your desire to hurt someone or belittle them, if it wasn’t your intention to alienate your colleague, then your actions in creating this result aren’t authentic either. ‘Pivot’ or adjust the behavior or action--try again.

Authentic leaders are constantly growing—they do not have rigid views of themselves. There are times when leaders have to make difficult decisions, have difficult conversations, or give tough feedback. At other times they need to be inspiring, good coaches, influencers and consensus builders, good listeners, or let others take the lead. These flexible styles aren’t inauthentic if they come from a place of integrity, purpose, and good intention. Becoming authentic is a developmental state that enables leaders to progress through multiple roles as they learn and grow from their experiences. Like superior performance in athletes, becoming an authentic leader requires years of practice in challenging situations. In this way, leaders’ styles become the outward manifestation of their authenticity. As leaders gain self-awareness, they become more skilled in adapting their style and staying consistent with their intention without compromising their character or their values.

In this way Authentic Leaders do not show up inconsistently, one person one day and another person the next--or one person with their boss and another with their peers or their team. Sometimes in a 360 I’ll see these different personas, and I’ll ask the question; “Why are there multiple Joes or Janes?” If you can do it so well here, why do you choose not to connect and do it there?

Authentic leaders try to lead a balanced life, bringing together all constituent elements: work, family, community, and friends, so they can be the same person in each environment. Authentic leaders build extraordinary support teams: partners, families, mentors, coaches, friends, and colleagues, to help them stay on course and keep them accountable. Authentic leaders realize you have to be willing to listen to feedback, even the kind that’s hard to hear. Authentic leaders are consistently aware of the importance of staying grounded--spending time with family and friends, taking care of themselves and those around them, being engaged in activities to manage their health and well-being, community involvement, respecting their faith or spiritual practices, returning to places where they grew up, remembering who they are, and

staying humble.

Naturally no one can be authentic without fail. Everyone behaves inauthentically at times, saying or doing things they come to regret. The key is to have the self-awareness to recognize these times and listen to those who point them out.

Authentic leaders are not perfect, nor do they try to be. They make mistakes, but are willing to admit their errors and learn from them. They know how to ask for help. The savviest business people face their failures head-on, gleaning valuable lessons from them that they can apply in the future. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

It takes a great deal of confidence to lead through challenging times and difficult situations. Most significantly, authentic leaders are constantly learning and growing from their experiences. By taking on new challenges, they become more effective as authentic leaders. When they find themselves in new situations, they draw upon their true selves--what they’ve learned from past experiences and can learn from new colleagues. Being a leader doesn’t make you who you are, it reveals who you are.

I want to read a few lines, as I close up here, from one of my favorite songs, Humble and Kind, written by Lori McKenna;

Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you

When you get where you’re going

Don’t forget, turn back around

Help the next one in line

Always stay humble and kind

Few of us have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can commit ourselves to a series of actions to make this world a better place, and the sum total of all those actions will write the history of this generation of leaders.

When you do leave this life the only thing you take with you is what you leave behind. You are the author of your own story. You cannot live someone else’s life. Learn who you are, and how others experience you. Aspire to be your own best, authentic self, live an integrated life, and leave a legacy that makes a difference in this world: Be an Authentic Leader.

I acknowledge some of the foremost authorities on this subject, are often the sources of my inspiration. I have borrowed from the ideas, research and genius of Bill George in particular, who continues to be pioneer in this space.

Why Learning Agility should be one of your goals for the new year

Many of us at this time of year turn to thinking about goals for ourselves and our careers in the coming 12 months.

It still surprises me how in many organizations the criteria used for identifying ‘high potential’ managers, leaders and future executives remain a ‘black hole’. Two parts of the equation are usually clear: Something associated with ‘past performance’ + ‘business competencies’. The third component is usually something loosely referred to like this; ‘you’ll know it when you see it’

The more time I spend on this topic the more I believe that ‘learning agility’ is key to unlocking the answers to that 3rd component. The attributes of being an agile learner can be studied, developed and honed.

In a rapidly changing environment, no one can have all the answers , however much experience they have– so fostering a “learner mindset” and being able to grow and innovate from our experiences is vital to realizing the full potential both of individuals and organizations . 

In the short article below, published in HBR on 12.31.15 Monique Valcour lays out some of the primary qualities of being a better learner, namely:  Seeking Feedback, on an ongoing basis. Reflecting on Experiences so that we glean important insights, and; Active Experimentation --trying on new approaches and looking for connections in unrelated events.

Learning Agility can help us use our everyday experiences in the quest to become our best selves,   

https://hbr.org/2015/12/4-ways-to-become-a-better-learner

What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team By CHARLES DUHIGG

Published in the New York Times - 2016

What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team.
New research reveals surprising truths about why some work groups thrive and others falter.

By CHARLES DUHIGG

FEB. 25, 2016

Illustrations by JAMES GRAHAM

Like most 25-year-olds, Julia Rozovsky wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. She had worked

at a consulting firm, but it wasn’t a good match. Then she became a researcher for two professors at

Harvard, which was interesting but lonely. Maybe a big corporation would be a better fit. Or perhaps a

fast-growing start-up. All she knew for certain was that she wanted to find a job that was more social. "I

wanted to be part of a community, part of something people were building together," she told me. She

thought about various opportunities — Internet companies, a Ph.D. program — but nothing seemed

exactly right. So in 2009, she chose the path that allowed her to put off making a decision: She applied

to business schools and was accepted by the Yale School of Management.

When Rozovsky arrived on campus, she was assigned to a study group carefully engineered by the

school to foster tight bonds. Study groups have become a rite of passage at M.B.A. programs, a way for

students to practice working in teams and a reflection of the increasing demand for employees who can

adroitly navigate group dynamics. A worker today might start the morning by collaborating with a team

of engineers, then send emails to colleagues marketing a new brand, then jump on a conference call

planning an entirely different product line, while also juggling team meetings with accounting and the

party-planning committee. To prepare students for that complex world, business schools around the

country have revised their curriculums to emphasize team-focused learning.

Every day, between classes or after dinner, Rozovsky and her four teammates gathered to discuss

homework assignments, compare spreadsheets and strategize for exams. Everyone was smart and

curious, and they had a lot in common: They had gone to similar colleges and had worked at analogous

firms. These shared experiences, Rozovsky hoped, would make it easy for them to work well together.

But it didn’t turn out that way. "There are lots of people who say some of their best business-school

friends come from their study groups," Rozovsky told me. "It wasn’t like that for me."

Instead, Rozovsky’s study group was a source of stress. "I always felt like I had to prove myself," she

said. The team’s dynamics could put her on edge. When the group met, teammates sometimes jockeyed

for the leadership position or criticized one another’s ideas. There were conflicts over who was in charge

and who got to represent the group in class. "People would try to show authority by speaking louder or

talking over each other," Rozovsky told me. "I always felt like I had to be careful not to make mistakes

around them."

So Rozovsky started looking for other groups she could join. A classmate mentioned that some students

were putting together teams for "case competitions," contests in which participants proposed solutions

to real-world business problems that were evaluated by judges, who awarded trophies and cash. The

competitions were voluntary, but the work wasn’t all that different from what Rozovsky did with her

study group: conducting lots of research and financial analyses, writing reports and giving presentations.

The members of her case-competition team had a variety of professional experiences: Army officer,

researcher at a think tank, director of a health-education nonprofit organization and consultant to a

refugee program. Despite their disparate backgrounds, however, everyone clicked. They emailed one

another dumb jokes and usually spent the first 10 minutes of each meeting chatting. When it came time

to brainstorm, "we had lots of crazy ideas," Rozovsky said.

One of her favorite competitions asked teams to come up with a new business to replace a student-run

snack store on Yale’s campus. Rozovsky proposed a nap room and selling earplugs and eyeshades to

make money. Someone else suggested filling the space with old video games. There were ideas about

clothing swaps. Most of the proposals were impractical, but "we all felt like we could say anything to

each other," Rozovsky told me. "No one worried that the rest of the team was judging them."

Eventually, the team settled on a plan for a micro gym with a handful of exercise classes and a few

weight machines. They won the competition. (The micro gym — with two stationary bicycles and three

treadmills — still exists.)

Rozovsky’s study group dissolved in her second semester (it was up to the students whether they

wanted to continue). Her case team, however, stuck together for the two years she was at Yale.

It always struck Rozovsky as odd that her experiences with the two groups were dissimilar. Each was

composed of people who were bright and outgoing. When she talked one on one with members of her

study group, the exchanges were friendly and warm. It was only when they gathered as a team that

things became fraught. By contrast, her case-competition team was always fun and easygoing. In some

ways, the team’s members got along better as a group than as individual friends.

"I couldn’t figure out why things had turned out so different," Rozovsky told me. "It didn’t seem like it

had to happen that way."

Our data-saturated age enables us to examine our work habits and office quirks with a scrutiny that our

cubicle-bound forebears could only dream of. Today, on corporate campuses and within university

laboratories, psychologists, sociologists and statisticians are devoting themselves to studying everything

from team composition to email patterns in order to figure out how to make employees into faster, better and more productive versions of themselves. "We’re living through a golden age of

understanding personal productivity," says Marshall Van Alstyne, a professor at Boston University who

studies how people share information. "All of a sudden, we can pick apart the small choices that all of us

make, decisions most of us don’t even notice, and figure out why some people are so much more

effective than everyone else."

Yet many of today’s most valuable firms have come to realize that analyzing and improving individual

workers — a practice known as "employee performance optimization" — isn’t enough. As commerce

becomes increasingly global and complex, the bulk of modern work is more and more team-based. One

study, published in The Harvard Business Review last month, found that "the time spent by managers

and employees in collaborative activities has ballooned by 50 percent or more" over the last two

decades and that, at many companies, more than three-quarters of an employee’s day is spent

communicating with colleagues.

In Silicon Valley, software engineers are encouraged to work together, in part because studies show that

groups tend to innovate faster, see mistakes more quickly and find better solutions to problems. Studies

also show that people working in teams tend to achieve better results and report higher job satisfaction.

In a 2015 study, executives said that profitability increases when workers are persuaded to collaborate

more. Within companies and conglomerates, as well as in government agencies and schools, teams are

now the fundamental unit of organization. If a company wants to outstrip its competitors, it needs to

influence not only how people work but also how they work together.

Five years ago, Google — one of the most public proselytizers of how studying workers can transform

productivity — became focused on building the perfect team. In the last decade, the tech giant has

spent untold millions of dollars measuring nearly every aspect of its employees’ lives. Google’s People

Operations department has scrutinized everything from how frequently particular people eat together

(the most productive employees tend to build larger networks by rotating dining companions) to which

traits the best managers share (unsurprisingly, good communication and avoiding micromanaging is

critical; more shocking, this was news to many Google managers).

The company’s top executives long believed that building the best teams meant combining the best

people. They embraced other bits of conventional wisdom as well, like "It’s better to put introverts

together," said Abeer Dubey, a manager in Google’s People Analytics division, or "Teams are more

effective when everyone is friends away from work." But, Dubey went on, "it turned out no one had

really studied which of those were true."

In 2012, the company embarked on an initiative — code-named Project Aristotle — to study hundreds

of Google’s teams and figure out why some stumbled while others soared. Dubey, a leader of the

project, gathered some of the company’s best statisticians, organizational psychologists, sociologists and

engineers. He also needed researchers. Rozovsky, by then, had decided that what she wanted to do with

her life was study people’s habits and tendencies. After graduating from Yale, she was hired by Google

and was soon assigned to Project Aristotle.

Project Aristotle’s researchers began by reviewing a half-century of academic studies looking at how

teams worked. Were the best teams made up of people with similar interests? Or did it matter more

whether everyone was motivated by the same kinds of rewards? Based on those studies, the

researchers scrutinized the composition of groups inside Google: How often did teammates socialize

outside the office? Did they have the same hobbies? Were their educational backgrounds similar? Was it

better for all teammates to be outgoing or for all of them to be shy? They drew diagrams showing which

teams had overlapping memberships and which groups had exceeded their departments’ goals. They

studied how long teams stuck together and if gender balance seemed to have an impact on a team’s

success.

Some groups that were ranked among Google’s most effective teams, for instance, were composed of

friends who socialized outside work. Others were made up of people who were basically strangers away

from the conference room. Some groups sought strong managers. Others preferred a less hierarchical

structure. Most confounding of all, two teams might have nearly identical makeups, with overlapping

memberships, but radically different levels of effectiveness. "At Google, we’re good at finding patterns,"

Dubey said. "There weren’t strong patterns here."

As they struggled to figure out what made a team successful, Rozovsky and her colleagues kept coming

across research by psychologists and sociologists that focused on what are known as "group norms."

Norms are the traditions, behavioral standards and unwritten rules that govern how we function when

we gather: One team may come to a consensus that avoiding disagreement is more valuable than

debate; another team might develop a culture that encourages vigorous arguments and spurns

groupthink. Norms can be unspoken or openly acknowledged, but their influence is often profound.

Team members may behave in certain ways as individuals — they may chafe against authority or prefer

working independently — but when they gather, the group’s norms typically override individual

proclivities and encourage deference to the team.

No matter how researchers

arranged the data, though, it

was almost impossible to find

patterns — or any evidence that

the composition of a team

made any difference. "We

looked at 180 teams from all

over the company," Dubey said.

"We had lots of data, but there

was nothing showing that a mix

of specific personality types or

skills or backgrounds made any

difference. The ‘who’ part of the

equation didn’t seem to

matter."

Project Aristotle’s researchers began searching through the data they had collected, looking for norms.

They looked for instances when team members described a particular behavior as an "unwritten rule"

or when they explained certain things as part of the "team’s culture." Some groups said that teammates

interrupted one another constantly and that team leaders reinforced that behavior by interrupting

others themselves. On other teams, leaders enforced conversational order, and when someone cut off a

teammate, group members would politely ask everyone to wait his or her turn. Some teams celebrated

birthdays and began each meeting with informal chitchat about weekend plans. Other groups got right

to business and discouraged gossip. There were teams that contained outsize personalities who hewed

to their group’s sedate norms, and others in which introverts came out of their shells as soon as

meetings began.

After looking at over a hundred groups for more than a year, Project Aristotle researchers concluded

that understanding and influencing group norms were the keys to improving Google’s teams. But

Rozovsky, now a lead researcher, needed to figure out which norms mattered most. Google’s research

had identified dozens of behaviors that seemed important, except that sometimes the norms of one

effective team contrasted sharply with those of another equally successful group. Was it better to let

everyone speak as much as they wanted, or should strong leaders end meandering debates? Was it

more effective for people to openly disagree with one another, or should conflicts be played down? The

data didn’t offer clear verdicts. In fact, the data sometimes pointed in opposite directions. The only

thing worse than not finding a pattern is finding too many of them. Which norms, Rozovsky and her

colleagues wondered, were the ones that successful teams shared?

Imagine you have been invited to join one of two groups.

Team A is composed of people who are all exceptionally smart and successful. When you watch a video

of this group working, you see professionals who wait until a topic arises in which they are expert, and

then they speak at length, explaining what the group ought to do. When someone makes a side

comment, the speaker stops, reminds every one of the agenda and pushes the meeting back on track.

This team is efficient. There is no idle chitchat or long debates. The meeting ends as scheduled and

disbands so everyone can get back to their desks.

Team B is different. It’s evenly divided between successful executives and middle managers with few

professional accomplishments. Teammates jump in and out of discussions. People interject and

complete one another’s thoughts. When a team member abruptly changes the topic, the rest of the

group follows him off the agenda. At the end of the meeting, the meeting doesn’t actually end:

Everyone sits around to gossip and talk about their lives.

Which group would you rather join?

In 2008, a group of psychologists from Carnegie Mellon, M.I.T. and Union College began to try to answer

a question very much like this one. "Over the past century, psychologists made considerable progress in

defining and systematically measuring intelligence in individuals," the researchers wrote in the journal

Science in 2010. "We have used the statistical approach they developed for individual intelligence to systematically measure the intelligence of groups." Put differently, the researchers wanted to know if

there is a collective I. Q. that emerges within a team that is distinct from the smarts of any single

member.

To accomplish this, the researchers recruited 699 people, divided them into small groups and gave each

a series of assignments that required different kinds of cooperation. One assignment, for instance, asked

participants to brainstorm possible uses for a brick. Some teams came up with dozens of clever uses;

others kept describing the same ideas in different words. Another had the groups plan a shopping trip

and gave each teammate a different list of groceries. The only way to maximize the group’s score was

for each person to sacrifice an item they really wanted for something the team needed. Some groups

easily divvied up the buying; others couldn’t fill their shopping carts because no one was willing to

compromise.

What interested the researchers most, however, was that teams that did well on one assignment usually

did well on all the others. Conversely, teams that failed at one thing seemed to fail at everything. The

researchers eventually concluded that what distinguished the "good" teams from the dysfunctional

groups was how teammates treated one another. The right norms, in other words, could raise a group’s

collective intelligence, whereas the wrong norms could hobble a team, even if, individually, all the

members were exceptionally bright.

But what was confusing was that not all the good teams appeared to behave in the same ways. "Some

teams had a bunch of smart people who figured out how to break up work evenly," said Anita Woolley,

the study’s lead author. "Other groups had pretty average members, but they came up with ways to

take advantage of everyone’s relative strengths. Some groups had one strong leader. Others were more

fluid, and everyone took a leadership role."

‘We had lots of data, but there was nothing showing that a mix of specific personality types or skills or

backgrounds made any difference. The "who" part of the equation didn’t seem to matter.’

As the researchers studied the groups, however, they noticed two behaviors that all the good teams

generally shared. First, on the good teams, members spoke in roughly the same proportion, a

phenomenon the researchers referred to as "equality in distribution of conversational turn-taking." On

some teams, everyone spoke during each task; on others, leadership shifted among teammates from

assignment to assignment. But in each case, by the end of the day, everyone had spoken roughly the

same amount. "As long as everyone got a chance to talk, the team did well," Woolley said. "But if only

one person or a small group spoke all the time, the collective intelligence declined."

Second, the good teams all had high "average social sensitivity" — a fancy way of saying they were

skilled at intuiting how others felt based on their tone of voice, their expressions and other nonverbal

cues. One of the easiest ways to gauge social sensitivity is to show someone photos of people’s eyes and

ask him or her to describe what the people are thinking or feeling — an exam known as the Reading the

Mind in the Eyes test. People on the more successful teams in Woolley’s experiment scored above

average on the Reading the Mind in the Eyes test. They seemed to know when someone was feeling upset or left out. People on the ineffective teams, in contrast, scored below average. They seemed, as a

group, to have less sensitivity toward their colleagues.

In other words, if you are given a choice between the serious-minded Team A or the free-flowing Team

B, you should probably opt for Team B. Team A may be filled with smart people, all optimized for peak

individual efficiency. But the group’s norms discourage equal speaking; there are few exchanges of the

kind of personal information that lets teammates pick up on what people are feeling or leaving unsaid.

There’s a good chance the members of Team A will continue to act like individuals once they come

together, and there’s little to suggest that, as a group, they will become more collectively intelligent.

In contrast, on Team B, people may speak over one another, go on tangents and socialize instead of

remaining focused on the agenda. The team may seem inefficient to a casual observer. But all the team

members speak as much as they need to. They are sensitive to one another’s moods and share personal

stories and emotions. While Team B might not contain as many individual stars, the sum will be greater

than its parts.

Within psychology, researchers sometimes colloquially refer to traits like "conversational turn-taking"

and "average social sensitivity" as aspects of what’s known as psychological safety — a group culture

that the Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson defines as a "shared belief held by

members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking." Psychological safety is "a sense

of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject or punish someone for speaking up," Edmondson

wrote in a study published in 1999. "It describes a team climate characterized by interpersonal trust and

mutual respect in which people are comfortable being themselves."

When Rozovsky and her Google colleagues encountered the concept of psychological safety in academic

papers, it was as if everything suddenly fell into place. One engineer, for instance, had told researchers

that his team leader was "direct and straightforward, which creates a safe space for you to take risks."

That team, researchers estimated, was among Google’s accomplished groups. By contrast, another

engineer had told the researchers that his "team leader has poor emotional control." He added: "He

panics over small issues and keeps trying to grab control. I would hate to be driving with him being in

the passenger seat, because he would keep trying to grab the steering wheel and crash the car." That

team, researchers presumed, did not perform well.

Most of all, employees had talked about how various teams felt. "And that made a lot of sense to me,

maybe because of my experiences at Yale," Rozovsky said. "I’d been on some teams that left me feeling

totally exhausted and others where I got so much energy from the group." Rozovsky’s study group at

Yale was draining because the norms — the fights over leadership, the tendency to critique — put her

on guard. Whereas the norms of her case-competition team — enthusiasm for one another’s ideas,

joking around and having fun — allowed everyone to feel relaxed and energized.

For Project Aristotle, research on psychological safety pointed to particular norms that are vital to

success. There were other behaviors that seemed important as well — like making sure teams had clear goals and creating a culture of dependability. But Google’s data indicated that psychological safety,

more than anything else, was critical to making a team work.

"We had to get people to establish psychologically safe environments," Rozovsky told me. But it wasn’t

clear how to do that. "People here are really busy," she said. "We needed clear guidelines."

However, establishing psychological safety is, by its very nature, somewhat messy and difficult to

implement. You can tell people to take turns during a conversation and to listen to one another more.

You can instruct employees to be sensitive to how their colleagues feel and to notice when someone

seems upset. But the kinds of people who work at Google are often the ones who became software

engineers because they wanted to avoid talking about feelings in the first place.

Rozovsky and her colleagues had figured out which norms were most critical. Now they had to find a

way to make communication and empathy — the building blocks of forging real connections — into an

algorithm they could easily scale.

"I might be the luckiest individual on earth," Sakaguchi told me. "I’m not really an engineer. I didn’t

study computers in college. Everyone who works for me is much smarter than I am." But he is talented

at managing technical workers, and as a result, Sakaguchi has thrived at Google. He and his wife, a

teacher, have a home in San Francisco and a weekend house in the Sonoma Valley wine country. "Most

days, I feel like I’ve won the lottery," he said. Sakaguchi was particularly interested in Project Aristotle

because the team he previously oversaw at Google hadn’t jelled particularly well. "There was one senior

engineer who would just talk and talk, and everyone was scared to disagree with him," Sakaguchi said.

"The hardest part was that everyone liked this guy outside the group setting, but whenever they got

together as a team, something happened that made the culture go wrong."

In late 2014, Rozovsky and her fellow Project Aristotle number-crunchers began sharing

their findings with select groups of Google’s 51,000 employees. By then, they had been

collecting surveys, conducting interviews and analyzing statistics for almost three years.

They hadn’t yet figured out how to make psychological safety easy, but they hoped that

publicizing their research within Google would prompt employees to come up with some

ideas of their own.

After Rozovsky gave one presentation, a trim, athletic man named Matt Sakaguchi

approached the Project Aristotle researchers. Sakaguchi had an unusual background for a

Google employee. Twenty years earlier, he was a member of a SWAT team in Walnut

Creek, Calif., but left to become an electronics salesman and eventually landed at Google

as a midlevel manager, where he has overseen teams of engineers who respond when the

company’s websites or servers go down.

Sakaguchi had recently become the manager of a new team, and he wanted to make sure things went

better this time. So he asked researchers at Project Aristotle if they could help. They provided him with a

survey to gauge the group’s norms.

When Sakaguchi asked his new team to participate, he was greeted with skepticism. "It seemed like a

total waste of time," said Sean Laurent, an engineer. "But Matt was our new boss, and he was really

into this questionnaire, and so we said, Sure, we’ll do it, whatever."

The team completed the survey, and a few weeks later, Sakaguchi received the results. He was surprised

by what they revealed. He thought of the team as a strong unit. But the results indicated there were

weaknesses: When asked to rate whether the role of the team was clearly understood and whether

their work had impact, members of the team gave middling to poor scores. These responses troubled

Sakaguchi, because he hadn’t picked up on this discontent. He wanted everyone to feel fulfilled by their

work. He asked the team to gather, off site, to discuss the survey’s results. He began by asking everyone

to share something personal about themselves. He went first.

"I think one of the things most people don’t know about me," he told the group, "is that I have Stage 4

cancer." In 2001, he said, a doctor discovered a tumor in his kidney. By the time the cancer was

detected, it had spread to his spine. For nearly half a decade, it had grown slowly as he underwent

treatment while working at Google. Recently, however, doctors had found a new, worrisome spot on a

scan of his liver. That was far more serious, he explained.

No one knew what to say. The team had been working with Sakaguchi for 10 months. They all liked him,

just as they all liked one another. No one suspected that he was dealing with anything like this.

"To have Matt stand there and tell us that he’s sick and he’s not going to get better and, you know,

what that means," Laurent said. "It was a really hard, really special moment."

After Sakaguchi spoke, another teammate stood and described some health issues of her own. Then

another discussed a difficult breakup. Eventually, the team shifted its focus to the survey. They found it

easier to speak honestly about the things that had been bothering them, their small frictions and

everyday annoyances. They agreed to adopt some new norms: From now on, Sakaguchi would make an

extra effort to let the team members know how their work fit into Google’s larger mission; they agreed

to try harder to notice when someone on the team was feeling excluded or down.

‘As long as everyone got a chance to talk, the team did well. But if only one person or a small group

spoke all the time, the collective intelligence declined.’

There was nothing in the survey that instructed Sakaguchi to share his illness with the group. There was

nothing in Project Aristotle’s research that said that getting people to open up about their struggles was

critical to discussing a group’s norms. But to Sakaguchi, it made sense that psychological safety and

emotional conversations were related. The behaviors that create psychological safety — conversational

turn-taking and empathy — are part of the same unwritten rules we often turn to, as individuals, when we need to establish a bond. And those human bonds matter as much at work as anywhere else. In fact, they sometimes matter more.

"I think, until the off-site, I had separated things in my head into work life and life life," Laurent told me.

"But the thing is, my work is my life. I spend the majority of my time working. Most of my friends I know

through work. If I can’t be open and honest at work, then I’m not really living, am I?"

What Project Aristotle has taught people within Google is that no one wants to put on a "work face"

when they get to the office. No one wants to leave part of their personality and inner life at home. But

to be fully present at work, to feel "psychologically safe," we must know that we can be free enough,

sometimes, to share the things that scare us without fear of recriminations. We must be able to talk

about what is messy or sad, to have hard conversations with colleagues who are driving us crazy. We

can’t be focused just on efficiency. Rather, when we start the morning by collaborating with a team of

engineers and then send emails to our marketing colleagues and then jump on a conference call, we

want to know that those people really hear us. We want to know that work is more than just labor.

Which isn’t to say that a team needs an ailing manager to come together. Any group can become Team

B. Sakaguchi’s experiences underscore a core lesson of Google’s research into teamwork: By adopting

the data-driven approach of Silicon Valley, Project Aristotle has encouraged emotional conversations

and discussions of norms among people who might otherwise be uncomfortable talking about how they

feel. "Googlers love data," Sakaguchi told me. But it’s not only Google that loves numbers, or Silicon

Valley that shies away from emotional conversations. Most workplaces do. "By putting things like

empathy and sensitivity into charts and data reports, it makes them easier to talk about," Sakaguchi told

me. "It’s easier to talk about our feelings when we can point to a number."

Sakaguchi knows that the spread of his cancer means he may not have much time left. His wife has

asked him why he doesn’t quit Google. At some point, he probably will. But right now, helping his team

succeed "is the most meaningful work I’ve ever done," he told me. He encourages the group to think

about the way work and life mesh. Part of that, he says, is recognizing how fulfilling work can be. Project

Aristotle "proves how much a great team matters," he said. "Why would I walk away from that? Why

wouldn’t I spend time with people who care about me?"

The technology industry is not just one of the fastest growing parts of our economy; it is also

increasingly the world’s dominant commercial culture. And at the core of Silicon Valley are certain selfmythologies

and dictums: Everything is different now, data reigns supreme, today’s winners deserve to

triumph because they are clear-eyed enough to discard yesterday’s conventional wisdoms and search

out the disruptive and the new.

The paradox, of course, is that Google’s intense data collection and number crunching have led it to the

same conclusions that good managers have always known. In the best teams, members listen to one

another and show sensitivity to feelings and needs.

The fact that these insights aren’t wholly original doesn’t mean Google’s contributions aren’t valuable.

In fact, in some ways, the "employee performance optimization" movement has given us a method for

talking about our insecurities, fears and aspirations in more constructive ways. It also has given us the

tools to quickly teach lessons that once took managers decades to absorb. Google, in other words, in its

race to build the perfect team, has perhaps unintentionally demonstrated the usefulness of

imperfection and done what Silicon Valley does best: figure out how to create psychological safety

faster, better and in more productive ways.

"Just having data that proves to people that these things are worth paying attention to sometimes is the

most important step in getting them to actually pay attention," Rozovsky told me. "Don’t underestimate

the power of giving people a common platform and operating language."

Project Aristotle is a reminder that when companies try to optimize everything, it’s sometimes easy to

forget that success is often built on experiences — like emotional interactions and complicated

conversations and discussions of who we want to be and how our teammates make us feel — that can’t

really be optimized. Rozovsky herself was reminded of this midway through her work with the Project

Aristotle team. "We were in a meeting where I made a mistake," Rozovsky told me. She sent out a note

afterward explaining how she was going to remedy the problem. "I got an email back from a team

member that said, ‘Ouch,’ " she recalled. "It was like a punch to the gut. I was already upset about

making this mistake, and this note totally played on my insecurities."

If this had happened earlier in Rozovsky’s life — if it had occurred while she was at Yale, for instance, in

her study group — she probably wouldn’t have known how to deal with those feelings. The email wasn’t

a big enough affront to justify a response. But all the same, it really bothered her. It was something she

felt she needed to address.

And thanks to Project Aristotle, she now had a vocabulary for explaining to herself what she was feeling

and why it was important. She had graphs and charts telling her that she shouldn’t just let it go. And so

she typed a quick response: "Nothing like a good ‘Ouch!’ to destroy psych safety in the morning." Her

teammate replied: "Just testing your resilience."

"That could have been the wrong thing to say to someone else, but he knew it was exactly what I

needed to hear," Rozovsky said. "With one 30-second interaction, we defused the tension." She wanted

to be listened to. She wanted her teammate to be sensitive to what she was feeling. "And I had research

telling me that it was O.K. to follow my gut," she said. "So that’s what I did. The data helped me feel

safe enough to do what I thought was right."

Managing Conflict when it's Passive Aggressive

Conflict Management is a subject I find myself discussing fairly frequently with clients. It is something few of us excel at or particularly enjoy, but it's a natural part of managing any relationship: There's a reason these types of interactions are commonly identified in articles and books as 'difficult conversations'. Passive Aggressive behavior is a common type of conflict found in the workplace, characterized by indirect resistance, or indirectly expressing hostility towards another person. I thought this article, published yesterday by Peter Bregman for the Harvard Business Review,  makes some great and practical suggestions for recognizing the behavior and its impact on us, as well as offering some clear steps you can take to break the silence!

The link to the full article is below:

 3 Ways to Stop Yourself from Being Passive Aggressive 

FEEDBACK – HOW DO I START?

More and more we seem to be focusing on the importance of feedback as a vehicle for improvement and growth. We are watching traditional performance reviews in many organizations being replaced with a process of more frequent pro-active feedback conversations, and observing the trend in many leading-edge organizations, especially those where knowledge is their primary asset, turning to more systematic integrated feedback methods to develop and train their people.   

However, a recent study in the September Harvard Business Review actually explored the gender gap about the relationship between feedback and self-perception – this very interesting if small study looked into how men and women respond differently to peer feedback. The results suggest that women close the gap between self-perception and peer feedback faster than men, demonstrating greater sensitivity to social cues, while men continue to rationalize (and inflate) their self- image over time.  

Read the full article here: the-gender-gap-in-feedback-and-self-perception

So, here’s the thing about feedback:  For many of us, we recognize the value of good feedback, but don’t know how to ask for it in the best way.  Either we are not sure how to pose the questions or, maybe we see it as a stressful experience and simply avoid it. We might have tried asking a supervisor in the past, “Do you have any feedback?” and typically that doesn’t work - the answer is often no, and you learn nothing. So what to do? An article by Carolyn O’Hara, below, does an outstanding job of examining how to ask for the feedback you need, in a productive and repeatable way.

The Principles:

Do:

  • Understand the kind of feedback you want, whether it’s coaching, praise, or an evaluation of recent work.

  • Ask in real time. This will create a more organic feedback loop going forward.

  • Pose specific questions designed to elicit helpful information and examples.

Don’t

  • Ask only your boss for feedback. Ask colleagues, junior staff, and clients as well.

  • Think you have to schedule a formal meeting. You can have brief, informal coaching moments after meetings, in the elevator, and over coffee.

  • Rely on email when you are on a virtual team. Pick up the phone.

Read the full article here:  How-to-get-the-feedback-you-need